What Should I Expect At A Bridal Show?

Part 2 of 2

Let’s re-cap what you learned in part 1:

• Bring pre-printed address labels, stickers, a pen and a backpack or other large shoulder bag. 
•  Bring your maid of honour. Leave kids and young teens at home.
•  Plan to be at the show for 3 hours. Bring some change to buy water.
•  Any vendor who can put a wedding-related spin on their business with be in attendance. This includes travel agencies, mortgage brokers, fitness consultants, and maybe even psychics if you’re lucky.

What will happen at the bridal show?

• You will arrive and receive a plastic bag filled with thick magazines, a wedding planner guide book, select vendor business cards and brochures and a sticker saying “I’m the bride” to put on your shirt – all before you even enter the show. This bag will be lots of fun when you get home, but will be very heavy at the show! Ask your entourage take turns holding the bag with you.
• You’ll walk in and find aisles packed to the edge with vendors. The booths are directly beside each other and are on both sides of the aisle. Your “I’m the bride” sticker will let every vendor know YOU are the decision maker, and will cause them to vie for your attention every second you are in their vicinity. People will be handing you brochures left, right and centre and you won’t be able to stuff them in your bag fast enough. Give your entourage a raised eyebrow if you need them to distract a pushy salesperson so you can escape.
• Remember to keep your eye on the game plan. Find the vendors you definitely want to talk to and go straight for them. Don’t get distracted and don’t waste time being overly polite with the harder to shake sales people. This is where your list will come in handy and keep you on track. When you have time later you can visit vendors you missed.
• Have a pen on you, so you can write details directly on the brochures. For example, if the bridal attire shop sounds wonderful but their business card doesn’t have the name of the lady you spoke with, ask for her name and write it down directly on the card. Then put a happy face sticker on it. Remember your stickers!
• In part 1 I told you to bring a small dollar-store stapler. This is because many times a vendor will have a business card and a brochure - but now you’ve got 2 pieces of paper and they will not stay together when you stuff it into your bag. Allocate someone who goes with you to staple all pieces of paper from the same vendor together, and then when you go home you can separate them if necessary.
• Have your entourage look at other vendors if you are busy speaking to one. There will be so many vendors you won’t be able to look at every one unless you do another round (by the end you’ll just want a margarita!). While they are scanning for other vendors you need (from the list you gave them) they can act as extra eyes helping you see what you may not be able to see.
• I’d suggest bringing a bottle of water, but that just adds extra weight. Perhaps bring a few dollars to buy water there for when you sit down to watch the fashion show. The reason I say this is because there will be LOTS of goodies (cupcakes, chocolate, and candies) for you to sample at the bridal show…but no one offers anything to drink. Keep yourself hydrated and stay away from too much sugar – you will crash afterwards (I know from experience).
• If you find a vendor you need, ask them questions. Many times there will not be prices on their hand-outs so ask. For example: How much is this wedding cake you have on display; how much does this bridal bouquet go for; is this an example of a head table backdrop; do you provide discounts for bundling services; what is the price per sugar cookie favour you have on display? Write the answers down on their brochure and put a sticker on it. 
• Lastly, keep in mind that vendors will often have special offers at the bridal show which they normally don't have. So this is a great opportunity to inquire about discounts. Never be afraid to ask for a discount. For example, "If I book within 30 days of this bridal show, can I get a 10% discount?" Be prepared for them to say no, but vendors rent space at the bridal show to get customers, so they should be will willing to at least discuss discount options.

What will happen after the bridal show?

• You and your entourage will be exhausted but excited and you will find a communal place to discuss the loot. We did this at my house and everyone dumped out their bags (just like Halloween - I kid you not), and threw out the garbage and duplicates. Remember to keep in mind you have lots of other reasons these vendors may be of use to you. Think of your bachelorette, buck and doe, bridalshower, etc. If the vendor isn’t right for your wedding, think of other places they may be useful.The point here isn't to horde, but save yourself time later when you remember you forgot something such as bridal shower guest favours.
• We put the brochures that were on my “interested” list in to a pile, and recycled the rest. This pile was then separated into vendors I needed such as “DJ”, “Video”, “Officiate”, “Limo”, etc. I tell you, those stickers definitely do come in handy. My piles consist of 5 limo companies, 7 DJs, 4 officiates, 8 venues, and 5 bakeries and 10 miscellaneous (imagine how many I recycled!)
• Make sure to thank your entourage for going with you. It is an exhausting event, may have cost them money for admission, and they are going only for you. They get nothing out of it other than some sample goodies, so thank them. 

Reading this may have been a bit overwhelming (and you haven’t attended the show yet!) but I promise it is fun when you are prepared. Make sure you eat before you go and stay hydrated. You will get distracted by pretty shiny things along your way to see that florist you’ve read so much about, but try to stay on task. I suggest arriving so the fashion show is half-way between when you arrive and when you leave so you get a break from all the excitement, and can put down all your bags and grab some water.

Do you have any other tips for bridal shows?

To have and to hold,

Elizabeth Honey

What Should I Expect At A Bridal Show?

Part 1 of 2

You know those community events that are usually held in a conference center where many wedding vendors set up booths to generate business? That is a bridal show! Well, our first bridal show is here! All the ladies in my wedding party are able to come (the groom has made himself scarce), and I am packed and ready to go. Wait a second…packed? What do I mean by that, you may ask? There is some planning you should do before you just jump right into a bridal show, otherwise you’ll come out of it exhausted and overwhelmed.

What am I supposed to do at a bridal show?

A bridal show is supposed to be your little black book of wedding vendors. Often there will be many different companies of the same business (e.g. wedding planners). This is a great opportunity to check out businesses and see what videographer A has over videographer B. Also, it gives you a chance to possibly meet face-to-face some people you may hire to work on your wedding with you. Since most conversations are done via email or phone, getting to meet the business owner or operator in person can help you decide if they are someone you want to work with.

What vendors are at a bridal show?

You will see wedding related business with booths to advertise their services. Included are: bakers, florists, jewellers, disk jockeys, wedding planners, decor companies and fitness consultants as well as many many others you would not even think of such as psychics, dancers, mortgage consultants and financial advisors. 

Also, there are fashion shows to display wedding attire. Most of the outfits are available by a salon which also has a booth at the show so you can directly speak to a representative if you see something you like. A nice perk to the bridal shows I’ve attended is they sometimes have male models in the fashion show to display men’s wedding attire. This is great because if you have a male partner he may not know where to get his wedding attire, and also eye candy better for the hips than sugar candy.

Who should I bring with me to a bridal show?

I suggest you bring no more than 4 other people. There will be a ton of people at the show and it will be hard to keep track of everyone. Definitely bring your maid of honour and some bridesmaids if you can. Leave children and young teens at home – they can look at your brochures when you get back and they will definitely get bored fast.

How long will I be at a bridal show?

Plan on attending the show for at least 3 hours. Sounds like a long time – but trust me, there will be over 100 vendors and you’ll walk by each one of them grabbing pamphlets, talking to vendors who interest you, and watching the fashion shows.

What should I do before attending a bridal show?

• Website: Check out the bridal show website to get an idea of which vendors will be there.
• Priority List: Mark down vendors you definitely want to talk to, which services you still need, and which services you do not need. Give a copy of this list to your entourage so they know what you are looking to accomplish.
• Check the time: Find out what time the fashion shows are and make sure you can watch at least one.
• Bag: Get a laptop style bag with a shoulder strap to put all of the vendor papers into. This keeps your hands free for writing notes and grabbing other brochures. Make sure all your ladies bring a bag to put brochures in also.
• Stickers! Stars, smile faces, ones with funny sayings, or whatever you desire.
• Pen: Bring a pen and a small stapler from the dollar store. Some vendors will give you more than one brochure.
• LABELS! Print off address labels. This is inexpensive and is an amazing idea.

Explanation:

At the bridal show you will be completely overwhelmed with brochures, pamphlets, business cards and samples. Everywhere you turn someone will be handing you something and it is very difficult to hold on to all of this stuff. You absolutely need a large, well supported bag to put all of this paperwork into. Believe me, the bag will weigh about 10 pounds extra by the time you leave considering you start off the show by receiving several thick bridal magazines. By writing down who you want to see, and who you are interested inahead of time (give a copy to everyone you go with), youwill stay focused.

The sticker idea is fantastic! Picture this- you talk with a DJ who offers everything you want, will give you a discount, can do your buck and doe, and is within your budget. You go home, dump out your loot and find 10 DJ business cards! Which one was his??? Having a sticker to identify vendors you are interested in will help you when you get home. Trust me, they all begin to blend together and the business card doesn’t say “The DJ with glasses, dark hair and a tattoo on his forearm”.

On the labels write your name, phone number, full address, email address and wedding date (even if you only have a tentative one). Almost every vendor will have a “draw” of some sort and imagine writing this information down by hand 100 times? Get enough pages of labels so everyone you bring with you can have a sheet and put your name in for draws on your behalf. Note: you will definitely get emails from vendors. If you aren’t so keen about this, look for a free email client and set up a new email address just for wedding stuff such as judy.wedding@email.com.

Look for part 2 coming soon. 
What did you bring to the bridal show to help stay organized?

To have and to hold,

Elizabeth Honey

Engagement Photo Shoot – part 2

Let’s re-cap part 1. You’ve already chosen:

• Who  to photograph you – professional or not
• What to wear – something you are comfortable in and accents your best features
• Where to have the pictures taken – chosen by the photographer or yourself
• Why - for your save-the-date cards, to frame the photos at your wedding reception or for your home
• When to have the pictures taken

Now you are ready to ask: What happens at an engagement photo shoot?

 

I’ve already had mine done so I can speak from experience. Here are some of my details: We were engaged in April 2011 and had our engagement pictures taken in October 2011. Our wedding was planned for November 2013 so we did not have to rush. We chose October for our pictures because we both love the fall colours and our wedding colour is red, so we hoped to get some red, orange and yellow leaves in our photos. We wore dark jeans, black shoes and grey sweaters with white undershirts. My fiancé and I had a professional photographer who was local to the area we live in and he suggested we take our pictures by a waterfall. 

Bring with you:

• Lipstick and a small mirror (you will be kissing your sweetie a lot today, so you will need to re-apply). 
• Facial tissues to wipe away tears, stray eyeliner and/or to use for blowing your nose if the weather gets windy or your allergies act up.
• Blanket if you are having photos outdoors and may need to sit on the ground for some shots
• Props such as a scarf, a puppy (haha…), hats, sunglasses, umbrella etc. We brought a scarf since it was October and we got some good shots using it tying us both up in a bow, pulling it around his neck to lean in for a kiss, etc.

During the photo shoot:

• Smile for the camera. The photographer will often ask you to pose in a specific way while they jump around to different angles for the best shot. Also, they will sometimes suggest you just “relax” so they can get a few in-the-moment shots that are not pre-planned. Remember to smile! 
• Hold still. You will be asked to “hold that pose” many, many times! Often this will be while you are mid-kiss with your sweetie. Holding a kiss perfectly still while someone takes pictures of you is difficult. During my photo shoot holding the kiss was so odd that I would laugh out loud and need to compose myself before we started shooting again.
• Go with the flow. Your photographer may ask you to pose in ways that seem odd or silly to you. I suggest you go with the flow and give it a try. It is possible the pictures won’t turn out the best, but what if they turn out beautifully? If the person behind the camera has done this before, they may know a few tricks you don’t.
• Check out all areas. You may be in one particular spot (such as a waterfall), but there are many places to take photos. Move around and try out different areas. I was at a waterfall, and we have pictures in 6 different areas: on a small bridge, sitting by a stream, on a rock, in some tall grass, by the waterfall, on rocks by the waterfall, and on a bench.
• Have fun. The whole experience will be a bit silly and you may be stressed thinking you will have these pictures forever but remind yourself to breathe and ask the photographer for a minute or two break to get yourself together if you feel a bit strained.

After the photo shoot:

When the pictures are developed you will have the option to purchase them from the photographer. You can either purchase individual prints, a package of prints, or maybe purchase all the photos in digital form on a disk. 

I definitely suggest buying the digital copies of photos because professional photographers often charge a lot of money for prints. From personal experience I can tell you our photographer charges $22.00 for an 8x10 print. My fiancé and I instead purchased from him 80 professionally edited photos on a digital CD Rom disk for the computer and the disk cost us $100. We then used the disk to purchase prints at a local big box store who charged $2.00 per 8x10 print. –much better! I printed off one of each photo in a 4x6 size to put in an album and then printed larger sizes for family and my home.

Make sure to discuss the experience with your partner to see if you would like to book them for the wedding. Suggestion – wait until you receive the engagement pictures from them before you decide for sure. A picture tells a thousand words and some of those words describe if you want them to do your wedding photos or not.

Did you get engagement photos done? Did you use that photographer for your wedding photos – why or why not?

To Have and To Hold,

Elizabeth Honey

Engagement Photo Shoot - Part 1

      Wow, time passes by quickly! We have been engaged for a few months now and haven’t even thought of an engagement photo shoot or booked the photographer. Read below for questions about engagement photo shoots. 

      Why should we get engagement pictures taken?

• To put on your save-the-date cards.
• To have at your wedding reception, framed, in a collage by your guest book/entrance.
• For practice having professional photos taken before the big day.
• To test out your wedding photographer and see if they work well with you.
• To have some pictures of you as a couple. Other than pictures taken by your cell phone, do you have photos of you two as a couple? Do you have any pictures of you two on your walls at home? This is a great opportunity to get some taken and for them to be used in your wedding too!

When should we have the photo shoot done?

• 8-9 months in advance if you want to use one of the pictures for your save-the-date cards.
• 4-6 months in advance if you want to use the pictures at the wedding (for your guest book table or at the entry of your reception). 
• ‘Tis the season. You may need to go outside those above timelines if you want the pictures taken outdoors in a particular season. Discuss with your photographer – they are the experts!

·       Remember, photographers in the wedding business generally book up quickly. As soon as you start thinking about engagement photos contact the photographer and ask what dates they have available. You may have to work around them if you need the photos by a certain date.

How do we pick the location?

• Ask the professional. If you choose a photographer who does engagement shoots often, they should know the best places to go in your area, no matter which season it is. 
•  Is there someplace special to you and your fiancé? For example: the setting of your first date; the place you were proposed to; your favourite park; the place where you first met; etc. 
•  What type of photos do you want? Romantic? Silly? Intimate? Relaxed? Go to a place where both you and your fiancé feel this way. For example: a park, carnival, coffee shop, the house you grew up in, a waterfall, or a historic area of town.

Your photographer may let you pick more than one location to get different styles of pictures (they may charge extra for this). Also, you and your loved one should bring a change of clothes for the second location.
 

What do we wear?

• Clothes you are comfortable in. For example, dark jeans and white shirts, or both in formal attire. Try to match a little bit in terms of the style of your outfits. Your photographer will be able to help you with this. You can also go online and view other couples’ engagement photos to get ideas from what they wore.

·       In ours, my fiancé wore dark jeans and a dark grey long sleeved sweater with a white, collared dress shirt underneath. I wore slightly lighter dark jeans and a light grey long sleeved v-neck sweater with a lacy white tank top underneath. We both wore black dress shoes.

      As for what actually happens during the photoshoot, stay tuned for Part 2 where I will tell you of our experience. If you have had an engagement photo shoot and have some tips relating to this post, please comment below.

To have and to hold,

Elizabeth Honey

Wedding Guest List Jitters

To help us prepare our budget, my fiancé and I need to have a good idea of how many people we will invite to our wedding. Easier said than done! After 3 hours of writing down names of family and friends the number is surprisingly larger than expected. From attending other weddings we have a number in our head of how many guests we would like to have, but the number of names we wrote down is about 40 people over. What do you do when you have not enough or too many wedding guest list names?

Who can I add to increase the guest list number? 

• Contact your close family members and ask if you have forgotten anybody. 
• Add plus one’s for the people on your list with no known partner. 
• Do up a general schematic of tables and chairs. Who will sit with whom? If you have tables with empty spaces, think of people that would get along with, or already know, those at the table. 
•  Ask your close family and friends if they want to invite anyone.
• If those in your wedding party invite a plus one, who will that person sit with? Perhaps you can invite the wedding party member’s parents or siblings if you know them. 
• Look on your social media friend lists for ideas. 
• Invite past co-workers who you got along with.

Who can I cut to decrease the guest list number?

• Have both you and your fiancé met the person?
• Have they supported your engagement?
• Are they nice to you?
• Do they cause drama?
• Do you know them?
• Plus ones.

Regarding the drama queen or king: Keep the drama out of the wedding! You don’t want to think of your wedding and the first picture you have is of Cousin Sheila asking your father-in-law to do body shots. 

Do you know the person you plan to invite? Remember, you are trying to cut people off the list. Your distant uncle who you knew when you were a child and your family hasn't spoken to since should get cut. And now, with plus ones: Not everyone needs to have a plus one. If there are many other people at the table who that person knows, then perhaps you can cut out their plus one.

Final Thoughts

Sometimes venues require you to have a minimum or maximum number of guests to get a particular ballroom. This happened with us. We had a perfect number in mind, but the venue needed at least 25 more bodies for the ballroom we wanted. So we cut down the list originally, and then added people back. What a rollercoaster - and the venue isn’t even booked yet! 

Also, remember to invite more people than you want as your final number, because it’s likely that not everyone will RSVP yes (more on that in a later blog). These tips helped us out a lot, and I hope they help you too!

To have and to hold,

Elizabeth Honey

How to Include the Un-Included

Now that my wedding party is chosen, I’ve heard mumbles from people who expected to be in it. A few of these surprised me, but some I was anticipating. Obviously I can’t have a larger wedding party than I have guests, but I feel the need to respond in some way. How do you respond to those that weren’t included in the wedding party, but expected to be?

If you still want some of those people to be involved, there are several options. 

You can ask them to…

• Do a reading at the ceremony.
• Make a toast at the reception.
• Help you in smaller ways, such as making sure everyone has found their seat.
• Get their advice on topics they may have experience with (e.g. menu or dance songs).
• Be the master of ceremonies at your reception.
• Be a flower girl/ring bearer or junior bridesmaid/ junior groomsmen.
• Give a speech at your reception.
• Be the guest book attendant.

The main point here is to make people feel appreciated if you do want them involved in some way. Now that I look at the suggestions above, I may have to ask people to help with those duties because I forgot they need to get done!

If there are some people who simply cannot be involved, here are ideas of what to politely say to them:

• I need to keep the wedding party small.
• I’m only including family members (say this if you really are, and the person asking isn’t family).
• I need those in the wedding party to live close to me for the wedding preparations (if the person asking lives far away).
• I was/will be in their wedding party (possibly a fib, but if you’re desperate then try it).
• Explain that you want those closest to you at this point in your life to be chosen.
• There will be a financial responsibility involved and I know you are saving for _____ (trip, new house, education, hobby, etc).
• Or of course you don’t have to respond at all. If you didn’t lead them to believe they would be picked then they assumed they would included.

You must be reading this either for entertainment, or because you are the type of person who doesn't want to just say "f*** off" to the person who wasn't included. So, remember to not get bullied into including someone, and use these tips and advice to help you stick to your gut feeling. This will be your day, and you don’t want to have any regrets or worries.

Let me know how your situations went in the comments below, and good luck!

To have and to hold,

Elizabeth Honey

Bridesmaid Meet and Greet Gift Bags

I now have a maid of honor and two bridesmaids! Although they have met each other at one point or another, I thought I would be nice to bring everyone together to get to know each other a bit more. So I invited all the ladies over to my place for a meet-and-greet, where I presented each lady with a goody bag.

I put together a goody bag for each of them – hoping this will help us kick off the wedding planning process on the right foot. I think this was a great idea because it showed my appreciation for their future hard work, and they appreciated the nice surprise.

The gift bags included:

• The Everything Bridesmaid Book: 2nd Edition by Holly Lefevre
• Wedding Party Responsibility Card by Alex A. Lluch
• Stickers with funny sayings
• Small notebook with pen
• Chocolates in a small tin

(See below for ideas on how to make less expensive versions of this goody bag.)

Inside the front cover of their book, I wrote each member a “thank you in advance” note. I personalized it by mentioning why I am glad they agreed to be in my wedding party. It was nothing longer than a few sentences. I think it is much more fun to write it in the book versus a card, that way the book can be a keepsake or memento from their adventures in your wedding.

I also gave each bridesmaid the wedding party responsibility card that corresponded to their title. This is a simple gesture to let them know you will expect a few things, and it also lets them know in advance what you will expect. I like this too because now I know what I can typically ask of my bridal party, and use this as a guideline in the future. 

The stickers with funny sayings were an idea given to me by a friend. The reality is, when you go to bridal shows, you get overloaded with pamphlets, business cards, booklets, magazines, and all sorts of sales literature. The stickers are to help you remember what you liked, didn’t like, or want to avoid at all costs. I found these stickers at a local bookstore retailer, but I’m sure they can be found just about anywhere. The phrases were: WTF; Really?; Love it!; No way!; Whatever; Not Impressed. I advised the ladies that when we go to bridal shows they should use these stickers as reminders on how they felt about that particular vendor. Then it will be much easier to combine all of our thoughts after. (Note: Look for my future blog about bridal shows and how to prepare.)

The small notebook and pen are for jotting down quick notes and ideas, and even to bring to bridal shows. The chocolates could be eaten anytime, but we all joked that they should be used when we crash from addressing invitations or are pulling all nighters to wrap up wedding favours. I bought chocolates in a tin because chocolate bars can melt and cause a mess, and tins can be reused and filled with other chocolates, mints or pieces of gum.

Homemade Goody Bags

These goody bags were at a cost to me obviously, but since the wedding is a few years away, I can justify spending the price. If you don’t have the resources to purchase these items for every member, make your own!

Book:

Find free bridesmaid advice on wedding websites and print them off on coloured paper. You can hole-punch the pages and use a ribbon or string to tie the pages together. Be as creative as you want! You could even make a title page with your wedding information. Remember to add a personalized thank you somewhere in the bag- whether it is in a card or in this booklet you made. 

Responsibility Card:

The wedding party responsibility cards can be made by hand easily. Get some cue cards (we’ve all used them for school speeches or studying at one point or another). Use a coloured marker to make it fun and write the typical responsibilities by hand on the cue card. You can find out what typical responsibilities are by searching online. Check a few websites to make sure they match because there are some whacky ideas out there!

Stickers:

If you can’t find stickers with funny sayings, make your own! Pick up a package of post-its from an office retailer and write sayings on them by hand. Get a pack that includes different coloured post-its and separate each colour into equal parts ensuring every maid gets at least ten per colour. Allocate one phrase to each colour and use a marker to write the saying over and over on each post-it, being careful to not un-stick them. Also, don’t use a marker that will bleed through. It may take some work but the sticker idea is definitely worth it! I would have at least three: Love it, Hate it and Undecided (a.k.a. Yes, No, and Maybe). 

Chocolates:

If you can bake, make a homemade treat instead! Cookies, brownies and cupcakes are easy to make and can even be found in a mix at the grocery store. If you like making smoothies mix some up for your meet and greet as a fun drink and conversation topic, and then add the recipe on a cue card in the bag so they can make it at home. You don’t have to include this portion of the goody bag if you don’t want to, but I did to act as a small treat for them. 

Let me know what you did for your goody bag. Did you add anything? How did your wedding party ladies react? If you were a wedding party member who received one, what was inside?

To have and to hold,

Elizabeth Honey