What Should I Expect At A Bridal Show?

Part 2 of 2

Let’s re-cap what you learned in part 1:

• Bring pre-printed address labels, stickers, a pen and a backpack or other large shoulder bag. 
•  Bring your maid of honour. Leave kids and young teens at home.
•  Plan to be at the show for 3 hours. Bring some change to buy water.
•  Any vendor who can put a wedding-related spin on their business with be in attendance. This includes travel agencies, mortgage brokers, fitness consultants, and maybe even psychics if you’re lucky.

What will happen at the bridal show?

• You will arrive and receive a plastic bag filled with thick magazines, a wedding planner guide book, select vendor business cards and brochures and a sticker saying “I’m the bride” to put on your shirt – all before you even enter the show. This bag will be lots of fun when you get home, but will be very heavy at the show! Ask your entourage take turns holding the bag with you.
• You’ll walk in and find aisles packed to the edge with vendors. The booths are directly beside each other and are on both sides of the aisle. Your “I’m the bride” sticker will let every vendor know YOU are the decision maker, and will cause them to vie for your attention every second you are in their vicinity. People will be handing you brochures left, right and centre and you won’t be able to stuff them in your bag fast enough. Give your entourage a raised eyebrow if you need them to distract a pushy salesperson so you can escape.
• Remember to keep your eye on the game plan. Find the vendors you definitely want to talk to and go straight for them. Don’t get distracted and don’t waste time being overly polite with the harder to shake sales people. This is where your list will come in handy and keep you on track. When you have time later you can visit vendors you missed.
• Have a pen on you, so you can write details directly on the brochures. For example, if the bridal attire shop sounds wonderful but their business card doesn’t have the name of the lady you spoke with, ask for her name and write it down directly on the card. Then put a happy face sticker on it. Remember your stickers!
• In part 1 I told you to bring a small dollar-store stapler. This is because many times a vendor will have a business card and a brochure - but now you’ve got 2 pieces of paper and they will not stay together when you stuff it into your bag. Allocate someone who goes with you to staple all pieces of paper from the same vendor together, and then when you go home you can separate them if necessary.
• Have your entourage look at other vendors if you are busy speaking to one. There will be so many vendors you won’t be able to look at every one unless you do another round (by the end you’ll just want a margarita!). While they are scanning for other vendors you need (from the list you gave them) they can act as extra eyes helping you see what you may not be able to see.
• I’d suggest bringing a bottle of water, but that just adds extra weight. Perhaps bring a few dollars to buy water there for when you sit down to watch the fashion show. The reason I say this is because there will be LOTS of goodies (cupcakes, chocolate, and candies) for you to sample at the bridal show…but no one offers anything to drink. Keep yourself hydrated and stay away from too much sugar – you will crash afterwards (I know from experience).
• If you find a vendor you need, ask them questions. Many times there will not be prices on their hand-outs so ask. For example: How much is this wedding cake you have on display; how much does this bridal bouquet go for; is this an example of a head table backdrop; do you provide discounts for bundling services; what is the price per sugar cookie favour you have on display? Write the answers down on their brochure and put a sticker on it. 
• Lastly, keep in mind that vendors will often have special offers at the bridal show which they normally don't have. So this is a great opportunity to inquire about discounts. Never be afraid to ask for a discount. For example, "If I book within 30 days of this bridal show, can I get a 10% discount?" Be prepared for them to say no, but vendors rent space at the bridal show to get customers, so they should be will willing to at least discuss discount options.

What will happen after the bridal show?

• You and your entourage will be exhausted but excited and you will find a communal place to discuss the loot. We did this at my house and everyone dumped out their bags (just like Halloween - I kid you not), and threw out the garbage and duplicates. Remember to keep in mind you have lots of other reasons these vendors may be of use to you. Think of your bachelorette, buck and doe, bridalshower, etc. If the vendor isn’t right for your wedding, think of other places they may be useful.The point here isn't to horde, but save yourself time later when you remember you forgot something such as bridal shower guest favours.
• We put the brochures that were on my “interested” list in to a pile, and recycled the rest. This pile was then separated into vendors I needed such as “DJ”, “Video”, “Officiate”, “Limo”, etc. I tell you, those stickers definitely do come in handy. My piles consist of 5 limo companies, 7 DJs, 4 officiates, 8 venues, and 5 bakeries and 10 miscellaneous (imagine how many I recycled!)
• Make sure to thank your entourage for going with you. It is an exhausting event, may have cost them money for admission, and they are going only for you. They get nothing out of it other than some sample goodies, so thank them. 

Reading this may have been a bit overwhelming (and you haven’t attended the show yet!) but I promise it is fun when you are prepared. Make sure you eat before you go and stay hydrated. You will get distracted by pretty shiny things along your way to see that florist you’ve read so much about, but try to stay on task. I suggest arriving so the fashion show is half-way between when you arrive and when you leave so you get a break from all the excitement, and can put down all your bags and grab some water.

Do you have any other tips for bridal shows?

To have and to hold,

Elizabeth Honey

Bridesmaid Meet and Greet Gift Bags

I now have a maid of honor and two bridesmaids! Although they have met each other at one point or another, I thought I would be nice to bring everyone together to get to know each other a bit more. So I invited all the ladies over to my place for a meet-and-greet, where I presented each lady with a goody bag.

I put together a goody bag for each of them – hoping this will help us kick off the wedding planning process on the right foot. I think this was a great idea because it showed my appreciation for their future hard work, and they appreciated the nice surprise.

The gift bags included:

• The Everything Bridesmaid Book: 2nd Edition by Holly Lefevre
• Wedding Party Responsibility Card by Alex A. Lluch
• Stickers with funny sayings
• Small notebook with pen
• Chocolates in a small tin

(See below for ideas on how to make less expensive versions of this goody bag.)

Inside the front cover of their book, I wrote each member a “thank you in advance” note. I personalized it by mentioning why I am glad they agreed to be in my wedding party. It was nothing longer than a few sentences. I think it is much more fun to write it in the book versus a card, that way the book can be a keepsake or memento from their adventures in your wedding.

I also gave each bridesmaid the wedding party responsibility card that corresponded to their title. This is a simple gesture to let them know you will expect a few things, and it also lets them know in advance what you will expect. I like this too because now I know what I can typically ask of my bridal party, and use this as a guideline in the future. 

The stickers with funny sayings were an idea given to me by a friend. The reality is, when you go to bridal shows, you get overloaded with pamphlets, business cards, booklets, magazines, and all sorts of sales literature. The stickers are to help you remember what you liked, didn’t like, or want to avoid at all costs. I found these stickers at a local bookstore retailer, but I’m sure they can be found just about anywhere. The phrases were: WTF; Really?; Love it!; No way!; Whatever; Not Impressed. I advised the ladies that when we go to bridal shows they should use these stickers as reminders on how they felt about that particular vendor. Then it will be much easier to combine all of our thoughts after. (Note: Look for my future blog about bridal shows and how to prepare.)

The small notebook and pen are for jotting down quick notes and ideas, and even to bring to bridal shows. The chocolates could be eaten anytime, but we all joked that they should be used when we crash from addressing invitations or are pulling all nighters to wrap up wedding favours. I bought chocolates in a tin because chocolate bars can melt and cause a mess, and tins can be reused and filled with other chocolates, mints or pieces of gum.

Homemade Goody Bags

These goody bags were at a cost to me obviously, but since the wedding is a few years away, I can justify spending the price. If you don’t have the resources to purchase these items for every member, make your own!

Book:

Find free bridesmaid advice on wedding websites and print them off on coloured paper. You can hole-punch the pages and use a ribbon or string to tie the pages together. Be as creative as you want! You could even make a title page with your wedding information. Remember to add a personalized thank you somewhere in the bag- whether it is in a card or in this booklet you made. 

Responsibility Card:

The wedding party responsibility cards can be made by hand easily. Get some cue cards (we’ve all used them for school speeches or studying at one point or another). Use a coloured marker to make it fun and write the typical responsibilities by hand on the cue card. You can find out what typical responsibilities are by searching online. Check a few websites to make sure they match because there are some whacky ideas out there!

Stickers:

If you can’t find stickers with funny sayings, make your own! Pick up a package of post-its from an office retailer and write sayings on them by hand. Get a pack that includes different coloured post-its and separate each colour into equal parts ensuring every maid gets at least ten per colour. Allocate one phrase to each colour and use a marker to write the saying over and over on each post-it, being careful to not un-stick them. Also, don’t use a marker that will bleed through. It may take some work but the sticker idea is definitely worth it! I would have at least three: Love it, Hate it and Undecided (a.k.a. Yes, No, and Maybe). 

Chocolates:

If you can bake, make a homemade treat instead! Cookies, brownies and cupcakes are easy to make and can even be found in a mix at the grocery store. If you like making smoothies mix some up for your meet and greet as a fun drink and conversation topic, and then add the recipe on a cue card in the bag so they can make it at home. You don’t have to include this portion of the goody bag if you don’t want to, but I did to act as a small treat for them. 

Let me know what you did for your goody bag. Did you add anything? How did your wedding party ladies react? If you were a wedding party member who received one, what was inside?

To have and to hold,

Elizabeth Honey

How To Choose Your Wedding Party Members

Engagement ring? Check.
Tentative date? Check.
Wedding party? …… Not-so-checked

 

The time has come to choose my wedding party. How can I choose the select few who will stand beside me and support me through the whole wedding process? Traditionally you should have 1 usher (a.k.a. groomsman) for every 50 guests, a best man, and a maid of honor. Using this formula and matching bridesmaids to ushers, my fiancé and I know the number of people who should be in our bridal party- now we have to decide who will fill those spots. 

The ladies in the wedding party typically do more planning and organizing than the groomsmen do, however everyone will need to do their part. They will be the ones to help you plan and execute the big day, plus the smaller parties earlier on (engagement party, Jack and Jill, bridal shower, bachelor party, etc). Often we have siblings, cousins, and close friends on both sides who may be in the running to be chosen. So, when it comes time to choose your wedding party, how does one decide? 

Here are some tips to choose your wedding party members:

• Who knows both you and your fiancé (at least a little bit)?
• Who supports you as a couple? 
• Who does your fiancé get along with? 
• Who will be drama-free?
• Who do you want to be in it?
• Do you have close female family members?

Why are these points important? This is your special day, and it makes sense that the wedding party should know both the bride and groom to some extent. Usually, a bride will select ladies who are close to her for her wedding party. It makes sense then that her other half has met and hung out with these ladies at some point or another. Second, you want your bridal party to support your marriage. Having a member who may raise their hand during the “speak now or forever hold your peace” part won’t make you nor your fiancé feel good. Similarly, would you want your partner’s right-hand to try and convince them to skip out the day of the wedding? I didn’t think so.

Ideally, the bride and groom should pick wedding party members who their other half gets along with. Inter-party politics may be trickier, but your partner should at least get along with each person. Also, choose someone who does not create drama. We all know that person – the one who loves attention being on them. We love this person for their care-free, loving attitude. However, they usually create dramatic situations, could amplify already tense situations, and/or suggest behavior when the time is definitely not right. Keep this person out of your wedding party. The probable stress they will cause you and your fiancé is not worth it. Don't just include someone because of peer pressure. Remember, make sure you want them in your bridal party too.Typically if the bride has sisters or close female cousins the bride will include them in her wedding party first before adding friends.

Using these tips, we have decided on our wedding party and my fiancé and I both feel confident about our choices. Some people who thought they would be involved, but aren’t, can be given different duties to still be included. For example: to give a reading at your ceremony; a speech at your reception; making a nice toast at dinner; or being the master of ceremonies for your reception. Look for my future blog titled “How to include the un-included” for more of these ideas. 

My question to you: How did you choose your wedding party?

To have and to hold,

Elizabeth Honey