Engagement Photo Shoot - Part 1

      Wow, time passes by quickly! We have been engaged for a few months now and haven’t even thought of an engagement photo shoot or booked the photographer. Read below for questions about engagement photo shoots. 

      Why should we get engagement pictures taken?

• To put on your save-the-date cards.
• To have at your wedding reception, framed, in a collage by your guest book/entrance.
• For practice having professional photos taken before the big day.
• To test out your wedding photographer and see if they work well with you.
• To have some pictures of you as a couple. Other than pictures taken by your cell phone, do you have photos of you two as a couple? Do you have any pictures of you two on your walls at home? This is a great opportunity to get some taken and for them to be used in your wedding too!

When should we have the photo shoot done?

• 8-9 months in advance if you want to use one of the pictures for your save-the-date cards.
• 4-6 months in advance if you want to use the pictures at the wedding (for your guest book table or at the entry of your reception). 
• ‘Tis the season. You may need to go outside those above timelines if you want the pictures taken outdoors in a particular season. Discuss with your photographer – they are the experts!

·       Remember, photographers in the wedding business generally book up quickly. As soon as you start thinking about engagement photos contact the photographer and ask what dates they have available. You may have to work around them if you need the photos by a certain date.

How do we pick the location?

• Ask the professional. If you choose a photographer who does engagement shoots often, they should know the best places to go in your area, no matter which season it is. 
•  Is there someplace special to you and your fiancé? For example: the setting of your first date; the place you were proposed to; your favourite park; the place where you first met; etc. 
•  What type of photos do you want? Romantic? Silly? Intimate? Relaxed? Go to a place where both you and your fiancé feel this way. For example: a park, carnival, coffee shop, the house you grew up in, a waterfall, or a historic area of town.

Your photographer may let you pick more than one location to get different styles of pictures (they may charge extra for this). Also, you and your loved one should bring a change of clothes for the second location.
 

What do we wear?

• Clothes you are comfortable in. For example, dark jeans and white shirts, or both in formal attire. Try to match a little bit in terms of the style of your outfits. Your photographer will be able to help you with this. You can also go online and view other couples’ engagement photos to get ideas from what they wore.

·       In ours, my fiancé wore dark jeans and a dark grey long sleeved sweater with a white, collared dress shirt underneath. I wore slightly lighter dark jeans and a light grey long sleeved v-neck sweater with a lacy white tank top underneath. We both wore black dress shoes.

      As for what actually happens during the photoshoot, stay tuned for Part 2 where I will tell you of our experience. If you have had an engagement photo shoot and have some tips relating to this post, please comment below.

To have and to hold,

Elizabeth Honey

Wedding Guest List Jitters

To help us prepare our budget, my fiancé and I need to have a good idea of how many people we will invite to our wedding. Easier said than done! After 3 hours of writing down names of family and friends the number is surprisingly larger than expected. From attending other weddings we have a number in our head of how many guests we would like to have, but the number of names we wrote down is about 40 people over. What do you do when you have not enough or too many wedding guest list names?

Who can I add to increase the guest list number? 

• Contact your close family members and ask if you have forgotten anybody. 
• Add plus one’s for the people on your list with no known partner. 
• Do up a general schematic of tables and chairs. Who will sit with whom? If you have tables with empty spaces, think of people that would get along with, or already know, those at the table. 
•  Ask your close family and friends if they want to invite anyone.
• If those in your wedding party invite a plus one, who will that person sit with? Perhaps you can invite the wedding party member’s parents or siblings if you know them. 
• Look on your social media friend lists for ideas. 
• Invite past co-workers who you got along with.

Who can I cut to decrease the guest list number?

• Have both you and your fiancé met the person?
• Have they supported your engagement?
• Are they nice to you?
• Do they cause drama?
• Do you know them?
• Plus ones.

Regarding the drama queen or king: Keep the drama out of the wedding! You don’t want to think of your wedding and the first picture you have is of Cousin Sheila asking your father-in-law to do body shots. 

Do you know the person you plan to invite? Remember, you are trying to cut people off the list. Your distant uncle who you knew when you were a child and your family hasn't spoken to since should get cut. And now, with plus ones: Not everyone needs to have a plus one. If there are many other people at the table who that person knows, then perhaps you can cut out their plus one.

Final Thoughts

Sometimes venues require you to have a minimum or maximum number of guests to get a particular ballroom. This happened with us. We had a perfect number in mind, but the venue needed at least 25 more bodies for the ballroom we wanted. So we cut down the list originally, and then added people back. What a rollercoaster - and the venue isn’t even booked yet! 

Also, remember to invite more people than you want as your final number, because it’s likely that not everyone will RSVP yes (more on that in a later blog). These tips helped us out a lot, and I hope they help you too!

To have and to hold,

Elizabeth Honey

How to Include the Un-Included

Now that my wedding party is chosen, I’ve heard mumbles from people who expected to be in it. A few of these surprised me, but some I was anticipating. Obviously I can’t have a larger wedding party than I have guests, but I feel the need to respond in some way. How do you respond to those that weren’t included in the wedding party, but expected to be?

If you still want some of those people to be involved, there are several options. 

You can ask them to…

• Do a reading at the ceremony.
• Make a toast at the reception.
• Help you in smaller ways, such as making sure everyone has found their seat.
• Get their advice on topics they may have experience with (e.g. menu or dance songs).
• Be the master of ceremonies at your reception.
• Be a flower girl/ring bearer or junior bridesmaid/ junior groomsmen.
• Give a speech at your reception.
• Be the guest book attendant.

The main point here is to make people feel appreciated if you do want them involved in some way. Now that I look at the suggestions above, I may have to ask people to help with those duties because I forgot they need to get done!

If there are some people who simply cannot be involved, here are ideas of what to politely say to them:

• I need to keep the wedding party small.
• I’m only including family members (say this if you really are, and the person asking isn’t family).
• I need those in the wedding party to live close to me for the wedding preparations (if the person asking lives far away).
• I was/will be in their wedding party (possibly a fib, but if you’re desperate then try it).
• Explain that you want those closest to you at this point in your life to be chosen.
• There will be a financial responsibility involved and I know you are saving for _____ (trip, new house, education, hobby, etc).
• Or of course you don’t have to respond at all. If you didn’t lead them to believe they would be picked then they assumed they would included.

You must be reading this either for entertainment, or because you are the type of person who doesn't want to just say "f*** off" to the person who wasn't included. So, remember to not get bullied into including someone, and use these tips and advice to help you stick to your gut feeling. This will be your day, and you don’t want to have any regrets or worries.

Let me know how your situations went in the comments below, and good luck!

To have and to hold,

Elizabeth Honey

Bridesmaid Meet and Greet Gift Bags

I now have a maid of honor and two bridesmaids! Although they have met each other at one point or another, I thought I would be nice to bring everyone together to get to know each other a bit more. So I invited all the ladies over to my place for a meet-and-greet, where I presented each lady with a goody bag.

I put together a goody bag for each of them – hoping this will help us kick off the wedding planning process on the right foot. I think this was a great idea because it showed my appreciation for their future hard work, and they appreciated the nice surprise.

The gift bags included:

• The Everything Bridesmaid Book: 2nd Edition by Holly Lefevre
• Wedding Party Responsibility Card by Alex A. Lluch
• Stickers with funny sayings
• Small notebook with pen
• Chocolates in a small tin

(See below for ideas on how to make less expensive versions of this goody bag.)

Inside the front cover of their book, I wrote each member a “thank you in advance” note. I personalized it by mentioning why I am glad they agreed to be in my wedding party. It was nothing longer than a few sentences. I think it is much more fun to write it in the book versus a card, that way the book can be a keepsake or memento from their adventures in your wedding.

I also gave each bridesmaid the wedding party responsibility card that corresponded to their title. This is a simple gesture to let them know you will expect a few things, and it also lets them know in advance what you will expect. I like this too because now I know what I can typically ask of my bridal party, and use this as a guideline in the future. 

The stickers with funny sayings were an idea given to me by a friend. The reality is, when you go to bridal shows, you get overloaded with pamphlets, business cards, booklets, magazines, and all sorts of sales literature. The stickers are to help you remember what you liked, didn’t like, or want to avoid at all costs. I found these stickers at a local bookstore retailer, but I’m sure they can be found just about anywhere. The phrases were: WTF; Really?; Love it!; No way!; Whatever; Not Impressed. I advised the ladies that when we go to bridal shows they should use these stickers as reminders on how they felt about that particular vendor. Then it will be much easier to combine all of our thoughts after. (Note: Look for my future blog about bridal shows and how to prepare.)

The small notebook and pen are for jotting down quick notes and ideas, and even to bring to bridal shows. The chocolates could be eaten anytime, but we all joked that they should be used when we crash from addressing invitations or are pulling all nighters to wrap up wedding favours. I bought chocolates in a tin because chocolate bars can melt and cause a mess, and tins can be reused and filled with other chocolates, mints or pieces of gum.

Homemade Goody Bags

These goody bags were at a cost to me obviously, but since the wedding is a few years away, I can justify spending the price. If you don’t have the resources to purchase these items for every member, make your own!

Book:

Find free bridesmaid advice on wedding websites and print them off on coloured paper. You can hole-punch the pages and use a ribbon or string to tie the pages together. Be as creative as you want! You could even make a title page with your wedding information. Remember to add a personalized thank you somewhere in the bag- whether it is in a card or in this booklet you made. 

Responsibility Card:

The wedding party responsibility cards can be made by hand easily. Get some cue cards (we’ve all used them for school speeches or studying at one point or another). Use a coloured marker to make it fun and write the typical responsibilities by hand on the cue card. You can find out what typical responsibilities are by searching online. Check a few websites to make sure they match because there are some whacky ideas out there!

Stickers:

If you can’t find stickers with funny sayings, make your own! Pick up a package of post-its from an office retailer and write sayings on them by hand. Get a pack that includes different coloured post-its and separate each colour into equal parts ensuring every maid gets at least ten per colour. Allocate one phrase to each colour and use a marker to write the saying over and over on each post-it, being careful to not un-stick them. Also, don’t use a marker that will bleed through. It may take some work but the sticker idea is definitely worth it! I would have at least three: Love it, Hate it and Undecided (a.k.a. Yes, No, and Maybe). 

Chocolates:

If you can bake, make a homemade treat instead! Cookies, brownies and cupcakes are easy to make and can even be found in a mix at the grocery store. If you like making smoothies mix some up for your meet and greet as a fun drink and conversation topic, and then add the recipe on a cue card in the bag so they can make it at home. You don’t have to include this portion of the goody bag if you don’t want to, but I did to act as a small treat for them. 

Let me know what you did for your goody bag. Did you add anything? How did your wedding party ladies react? If you were a wedding party member who received one, what was inside?

To have and to hold,

Elizabeth Honey

How To Choose Your Wedding Party Members

Engagement ring? Check.
Tentative date? Check.
Wedding party? …… Not-so-checked

 

The time has come to choose my wedding party. How can I choose the select few who will stand beside me and support me through the whole wedding process? Traditionally you should have 1 usher (a.k.a. groomsman) for every 50 guests, a best man, and a maid of honor. Using this formula and matching bridesmaids to ushers, my fiancé and I know the number of people who should be in our bridal party- now we have to decide who will fill those spots. 

The ladies in the wedding party typically do more planning and organizing than the groomsmen do, however everyone will need to do their part. They will be the ones to help you plan and execute the big day, plus the smaller parties earlier on (engagement party, Jack and Jill, bridal shower, bachelor party, etc). Often we have siblings, cousins, and close friends on both sides who may be in the running to be chosen. So, when it comes time to choose your wedding party, how does one decide? 

Here are some tips to choose your wedding party members:

• Who knows both you and your fiancé (at least a little bit)?
• Who supports you as a couple? 
• Who does your fiancé get along with? 
• Who will be drama-free?
• Who do you want to be in it?
• Do you have close female family members?

Why are these points important? This is your special day, and it makes sense that the wedding party should know both the bride and groom to some extent. Usually, a bride will select ladies who are close to her for her wedding party. It makes sense then that her other half has met and hung out with these ladies at some point or another. Second, you want your bridal party to support your marriage. Having a member who may raise their hand during the “speak now or forever hold your peace” part won’t make you nor your fiancé feel good. Similarly, would you want your partner’s right-hand to try and convince them to skip out the day of the wedding? I didn’t think so.

Ideally, the bride and groom should pick wedding party members who their other half gets along with. Inter-party politics may be trickier, but your partner should at least get along with each person. Also, choose someone who does not create drama. We all know that person – the one who loves attention being on them. We love this person for their care-free, loving attitude. However, they usually create dramatic situations, could amplify already tense situations, and/or suggest behavior when the time is definitely not right. Keep this person out of your wedding party. The probable stress they will cause you and your fiancé is not worth it. Don't just include someone because of peer pressure. Remember, make sure you want them in your bridal party too.Typically if the bride has sisters or close female cousins the bride will include them in her wedding party first before adding friends.

Using these tips, we have decided on our wedding party and my fiancé and I both feel confident about our choices. Some people who thought they would be involved, but aren’t, can be given different duties to still be included. For example: to give a reading at your ceremony; a speech at your reception; making a nice toast at dinner; or being the master of ceremonies for your reception. Look for my future blog titled “How to include the un-included” for more of these ideas. 

My question to you: How did you choose your wedding party?

To have and to hold,

Elizabeth Honey

How to choose a wedding planning book

Have you ever looked at the wedding planner section of a bookstore? There are so many options it is overwhelming! The book store I was in is a large chain and they had over 40 different wedding planning books to choose from. I enjoy having a choice, but the fact I had to decide which one will help keep me on track for my whole wedding was a daunting task.

So, how did I pick one? Other than closing my eyes, twirling in a circle with my finger pointed and choosing the book I stopped at… I had another idea. I sat on the floor of the bookstore and went through as many books as I could. Thirty minutes later I discovered that many of the books were almost the exact same – and I literally mean the exact same wording and everything! The main differences seemed to be the size and shape of the book.

Before you look for a wedding planner book, you should decide how you will be using it.

• Do you want a quick reference guide to help keep you on track?
• Do you want a file folder system to keep all of your pamphlets and receipts?
• Do you want lots of advice and tips?
• Do you need a lot of room to write notes?
• Do you need suggestions on what to ask different vendors?

Here are my tips to quickly find a wedding planner book that will be the most useful:

• Timeline. If it doesn’t have a timeline of what should get done when, then forget it. 
• Checklists. Having a lot of checklists is great, and gives you an overall view on how you are doing with the planning process.
• Budget. Make sure it shows what percent of your budget should go to each area of your wedding, and has a lot of spots to write prices down for your vendors.
• Pockets. Sure you can make your own accordion file folder style receipt holder, but in the end that’s one extra thing to manage and possibly misplace.
• Advice. Look for an advice section of the book. There are many different situations that may occur and having a go-to-guide is nice. Remember, if you can’t find a book with this section, don’t worry. The internet is a great source of information also.
• Writing space. It’s nice to have lots of room to write your own notes.

I chose The Ultimate Wedding Planning Kit  By Elizabeth Lluch and Alex Lluch from WS Publishing Group. It includes all of the above, cost $29.99 plus tax and actually came in a briefcase style with a handle. It will help me keep my book, pocket guide and file folder all in one place and be a great keepsake! The only thing I would add is a business card holder – but for now I staple any business cards onto the brochures so they don’t get lost in the folders.

Let me know how you chose your wedding planner book using the comment section below. 

To have and to hold,

Elizabeth Honey

Insure your engagement ring to ensure peace of mind

Now that I’m engaged, I walk around with a ring on my finger. It is probably one of my most prized possessions and I check every few seconds to make sure it is still there. I am a bit paranoid that it will slip off my finger and go down the sink drain.... however, over time this has passed. But still, if I love it as much as I do, shouldn’t I insure it?

Keep these things in mind before you insure your engagement ring.

• Monetary Value – how much money is your ring worth?
• Stones – do you want to insure only your stone(s) or your stone(s) plus the band?
• Susceptibility – during your daily activities is your ring susceptible at being lost or stolen? 

Let’s look at these steps more fully. The first step before you can even ask insurance companies how much they will charge, is to know how much money your ring is worth. Usually the insurance company will want to know the number of stones in the ring and the carat of each. If you do decide to get it insured you might need to send a copy of the official appraisal (done by a jeweler) to your insurer.

Good news: if you have house or apartment insurance it is possible your ring is already covered. So call them and ask for the details! My insurance company states they cover theft or damage of an engagement ring worth $4,000 or less but does not cover “accidental loss” (e.g. losing your ring down the sink drain). 

Most insurance companies will give the option of having only the stones insured, or the band plus the stones. Another option if you aren’t too keen with the insurance companies is to go to the jewelry store the ring was purchased from. Most jewelers can provide insurance for you through their own company.

If you are still questioning if this is something you want to do, think about your daily activities. If your ring is susceptible to being lost or stolen you should lean more towards having it insured. For example, if your daily job requires you to remove your jewelry. 

Remember, over the years your situation may change. You can always add/remove insurance. So, if it doesn’t suit you very well right now, keep this article in mind for when you may need it. I have decided to get my ring insured with the company who I have house insurance with. It fit in well with the plan I already have and any extra that it cost was added into my monthly payment for simplicity.

To have and to hold,

Elizabeth Honey